Changing one addiction for another

Getting rid of an addiction is not easy, but neither is staying sober. It is important to know that a bad habit easily can be replaced with another, and thinking about it, is it not that hard to figure out why: 

Addiction is usually a destructive behavior stemming from an inner emotional problem. Even if a person gets sober, he/she might still be suffering from the unresolved issue which caused the addiction in the first place. This may often lead to another addiction, and another one after that...

Michelle, 36, knows how it is to jump between different "obsessions", as she calls it. She recovered from an alcohol addiction about three years ago, but it only took five month for her to realize that she had replaced the alcohol for an obsession with food instead. She could go weeks without barely eating, whereupon she got the diagnosis anorexia. She explains how her sobriety didn't help her getting rid of the deep depression she had suffered from for many years.

It's good for a relative to know that a person whom has recovered from an addiction might be very vulnerable. When the person is deprived from the "solution" (such as alcohol or drugs) that has suppressed his/her problems for a long time, inner feelings may blow up, and the only thing that can overthrow them is another addiction.

How can one help a person who seems to relapse over and over again?

The most important thing is to look at the eventual psychiatric issues which might have caused the addiction in the first place. The addiction is not the only disease in the equation! One thing you can do as a relative is to talk to your close one about his/her feelings after his/her recovery. It might be a very good thing if the person has a close contact with a therapist/professional. Another thing which has proven to be effective is if the person talks to other people being in the same situation. A suggestion is going to support groups on a regular basis.

When Michelle was cured from her eating disorder, she started to look into her emotional issues. She understood that there was no other way for her to not fall back into another addiction. Today she explains how she's been sober for almost a year, which is the result of a lot of hard work in dealing with her depression. Beside from her own struggle, the most important part of the process was the support from her friends and family. "I know I did a lot of hard work", she says, "but I couldn't have done it without them". 
 

Do you want to read more about being a relative to a person suffering from addiction? Visit me on Facebook :)  

Take care! /Carina

Have you read the self-help manual?

Have you read "Self-help manual for relatives to substance abusers"?

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Impossible?

7 warning signs of relapse!

Are you a relative of a person who has recently become sober, but constantly goes around and is afraid that he/she will fall back into the addiction?

You're not alone! In fact, the risk of relapse during the first 12 months is very common; approximately 64 percent. But it is important to know that it gets better with time. After about 3 years of sustained sobriety the risk of relapse decreases to about 14 percent!
  

 Some warning signs of relapse may be: 

 1. Extreme fatigue due to for example congestion. 

2. Dishonesty. The person is lying about, for example, what he/she has done or spent his/her money on.

3. Excessive self-confidence in her/his ability to stay sober. 

4. Unreasonable expectations of how others should think or be. 

5. He/she often becomes aggressive/angry without any cause. 

6. Depressed mood, which can be a signs of a "real" clinical depression. 

7. Unreasonably high expectations on him/herself, which often leads to disappointment when he/she does not achieve the goals.

If you as a family member notice these kind of change in the persons' behavior:  speak calmly about it and then listen to what she/he has to say/feel. Try to act before it is too late. The person may seek professional help from for example doctors, therapists or different treatment facilities.

The need for control

The need for control is common amongst relatives of people suffering from substance abuse. One might often become overconfident when it comes to controlling another person. 

The need for control may turn in to a kind of addiction of its own. If you feel as if you've lost the control, you may experience anxiety, palpitations, rapid breathing, etc. But once the "feeling of control" comes back, it may temporally reduce these negative feelings. This usually turns into an destructive spiral.
  

Do you recognize yourself? Read the questions below and think. 
Please write down your answers in the comments!
  
- In what kind of way are you trying to control the person suffering from drug- or alcohol abuse?
- How does these feelings/actions express themselves? 
- When do they take place? 
- What are you trying to gain? 
- How does the "behavior of control" make you feel? 
- What would happen if you let go of the "control"? How do you think it would make you feel? 
- What type of "behavior of control" would be easiest to let go of? 

Good luck with your exercise!
/Carina