Meditation works

Meditation makes us calmer and happier. There is new research showing that the brain changes after meditation over a longer period of time.

Meditating half an hour every day for two months is shown to have a strengthening effect on the part of the brain that handles our memories, feelings and what we experience with our senses, as well as the part of our brain that holds our primitive functions, such as stress and anxiety, was more easily kept under check.

Our self-perception affects our behavior

I've been on a lecture where self-perception was discussed. That our behavior, our actions, how we communicate, what choices we make are reflections of our own self-perception and how we see ourselves.

Naturally I applied this reasoning to the case of relatives to people with addiction problems. Let's say that a child has grown up in a family with addiction problems. How does that affect the child's self perception? How does that continue to affect that person's self perception when they grow up? How does it affect their actions and choices in life?

Can that be an explanation to why children to people with substance addiction problems choose to continue living in that environment with substance addicted people around them also as grown-ups? Either they get a partner with an addiction or they get addicted themselves?

That was a lot of questions... What do you think?

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What are your intentions?

As I have said in earlier posts, humans act upon wishes to achieve something, or avoid something.

We have intentions with the things we do, or don't do. All the things we do, from making a cup of tea with the intention of getting warmer and maybe relax with the help of the tea, to the intentions of our communication and our relations.

What are your intentions? Why do you do what you are doing right now? (reading a blog about being relative to an addict).
What are your intentions with the relations to different people in your life?
What are your intentions when you get our of bed in the morning?
What are your intentions regarding your body and health?
What are your intentions regarding your family?
What are your intentions regarding your work/career?

And do you achieve what you want with your intentions? Or are you on your way? Have you found a strategy that works for you? In that case, what do you do to succeed? And if you don't, what do you need to do differently?

/Carina
 

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Can't decide?

Sometimes the most annoying situations are those when you can't seem to come to a decision. The frustrating feeling of turning things over in your head, not knowing which option to choose. When you finally make the decision and act it out, that is an incredible relief! Has this happened to you?

Here is an exrecise  that can help you in situations like that. It makes things easier to evaluate and helps you see which option has the best reasons to be choosen.

Write long lists of everything that pops up in your mind for each of these headlines:

* Benefits of the current situation:

* Drawbacks of the current situation:

* Drawbacks of changing the situation:

* Benefits of changing the situation:

Reflect on your result, is any list longer than the others? Does anything on your lists matter more than the other things?

Under the headline "Drawbacks of changing the situation" fears and obstacles often appear. If that happened to your list, try to find different ways of handling them! There are probably many different alternatives to do that.

Good luck!

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Whose life are you living?

A friend of mine grew up with four brothers, all of whom struggled with drug addictions. As a sister, she developed several negative behavior early. Behaviours only destructive for herself. To help check that she hasn't fallen back into a similar state, she asks herself this question every now and then:
"Whose life are you living right now?"

She double checks herself to make sure that she hasn't taken on someone elses life problems.

So I ask you that question:
-Whose life are you living?
-Whose feelings are you feeling?

You have to find the balance between living your own life and owning your own emotions, but still be able to show empathy to people around you. As long as empathy does not come at the expense of your own life, health and wellbeing.

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