Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Create a new network of friends

Our networks of acquaintances and friends give us strength, energy, new perspectives and comfort in hard situations. If they consist of the right people...
When you are young it is easy to make new friends, but something happens when you approach the middle of your life. The family, children and work take over your life and can limit the social interaction and the opportunities to find new friends.

If you feel that you are in that position, and you would want to increase your circle of friends, these are some tips on what to do:

1. Invite a colleague to lunch.
2. Buy two theatre tickets and ask, or email an ask, if anyone wants to go.
3. Join social groups on Facebook or other forums. An example of that is "Walk and talk", where people who don't know each other agree on a place to take a walk and talk to each other.
4. Take a course.
5. Go on a lecture and mingle a bit.
6. Start a new hobby - become a member in a forum, organization and so on, and attend their events.
7. Do something fun and useful at the same time - become a volunteer in an organization that needs your help and enthusiasm.
8. Get a dog. Go to dog-parks and meet all the other dog owners, take dog courses and so on.
9. Have you lost friends that you like? Look on Facebook, they might be there. Maybe you want to meet up again?
10. Do you have relatives and family members that you don't get to see as often as you want to? Do something about it!

In order to find new friends you need to be courageous, put yourself out there and endure some "no"'s. Because the reward when you get a "yes" is much bigger!

Good luck!

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Whatever you believe, you are going to be correct

Whatever you believe about yourself or your fellows you are going to end up being correct!

It might sound a little exaggerated, but by and large, it will be true. Based on earlier experiences we create a picture of ourselves and others. To simplify all the information and the impressions we get we try to sort this in boxes and categories (this happens so fast in our thoughts that we probably don't observe it). Then, we use this map we have from before to interpret new impressions based on it.
That is why sometimes we distort the information and situations we experience to make them fit in to our general picture, "our map", of the world. We might also ignore information that does not fit with our picture.

That turns it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I have a "map" about myself as a victim of the circumstances, I'm going to keep interpreting things in this way. I find proof of this over and over again, because my brain filters and sorts all this information in to these well known boxes.

Therefore, to start seeing yourself and your surroundings in a different way you need to find proof of the contrary. When a new situation arises you need to question your own interpretation and try to make new ones instead.

We all have our maps, and the question is if they contribute to strengthening us, or if it pulls us down.

What does your map look like? How do you interpret yourself and your surroundings? Are there new perspectives you would like to see yourself and the world with? Which in that case? Find proof for these!



Do you like this blog? Become a member and share it to others?

Friday, November 15, 2013

Daily choices

"After having closely analyzed
all of the body's, the speech's and mind's actions,
the people are wise who realize what is good
for themselves and others
and always chooses that"

From the book Love by Dalai Lama



Do you like this blog? Become a member and share it to others!

Saturday, November 9, 2013

How parents can prevent addiction

I found a cheat sheet with instructions for parents about how to prevent and detect addiction.


Here is a summary of the important bits:
*Acquire knowledge about drugs and what impact they have
*Communicate with other parents to your kid's friends
*Make plans with other parents about driving the kids to and from parties
*Stay awake when your kid comes home late
*Demand to know where and with who they spent time on the evenings
*Don't accept that your teenager drinks alcohol and never give them any at home
*Spend time with your kid, do things together and develop interests to have in common
*Give them support and encouragement and show them that you love them for who they are.
*Trust you intuition!

Hopefully these tips will be helpful for you parents!
/Carina

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Do you make decisions to make others happy?

For people that live close to a person with addiction problems it is usual that they make decisions in favor of the addict. You make decisions and choices to make the other person happy or to avoid anger. Sometimes doing this can be OK, and maybe it wasn't very important anyway. But if it happens often and perhaps with decisions that are very important for the relative, it will eventually lead to disappointment. It will lead to the relative making bad decisions that make them feel used, hurt and perceive themselves as victims to another person.
The relative contributes to this pattern in that that they put their own needs second in favor of the other person. You accept that other's needs always are more important than your own.

*What is the worst thing that could happen if the other person is upset?
*Is it worth it to let your own dreams wait because of that?
*But if we don't respect our needs and take our dreams seriously ourselves, who else will do it?
*Is it OK to at the age of 80 realize that you spent your whole life reducing your own dreams and aspirations to make someone else happy?

Hard questions... but nevertheless important to consider.
blogglista.seSvenskaSajter.com - Den ständigt växande länkkatalogen
SvenskaSajter.com - Den ständigt växande länkkatalogen