Saturday, September 28, 2013

Recovery

Are you not satisfied with your life right now there is a big probability that you dream about a future that is different from the reality you live in today.


Instead of living your life in the moment you spend a lot of time thinking about how you want to live later on. That is when you have to ask yourself: if you don't know how to live in the moment right now, how will you be able to do that when you live in a way you dream about?



Accoring to Pia Mellody the answer is that you need to get closer to where you want to be by getting to know yourself and your needs and start to act. Then you get more energy just for you instead of wasting it on other things or others. You learn to control the only person you can control, yourself. It is only then that you will be able to live, here and now, in the moment.



Pia Mellody writes about this in her book "Facing Love Addiction".


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Sunday, September 22, 2013

Movie: When love is not enough

Have you seen the movie. "When love is not enough"?


If not I highly recommend it. The story is about Lois Wilson, one of the founders of the Al-anon community for relatives to people with alcohol-abuse problems and her struggle in her relationship to her alcoholic husband Bill Wilson, one of the founders of the Alcoholics Anonymous' 12-step program.

Recommended!
See a snippet here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjQJszE5kx4





If you have seen the movie, write in the comments your thoughts on it!
/Carina



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Monday, September 16, 2013

Healthy relationships

How do you want your relationships to your loved ones to be? (Friends, family, spouses etc). What do you not want in your relationships? Or what type of qualities do you want these relationships to have?

- A mutual sense of "give and take"?
- Respect?
- Elicit energy?
- Take away energy?
- Support in a mutual way?
- Taking responsibility of the relationship?
- Taking responsibility of your own well being?
- Common interests?
- Honesty?
- Trust?
- Keeping your promises?
- Developing?
- more....

Feel free to write down your answers for the following questions: 
1. How would you like your relationships to other people to be? Or not to be? What can you do? (see the examples above).
2. Do you already have relationships that meet these "standards"
3. Do you spend as much time being with your loved ones as you want to? Or do you need to prioritize them more?

Do you have people who don't meet your "requirements" regarding close relationships around you? Can you decrease their influence on your life? How can that be done? Do you need to cut of all relations? Or spend less time with them?

If you don't have people like that around you, get out there and look! We need close friends in our lives! They can be anywhere... At work, in your circle of acquaintances, at your free time activities, on the internet, in networks, communities, and so on.


Make a plan for your social relationships!


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Take care!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Emotional baggage

We all have emotions and memories that burdens our lives. It can be from the childhood, catastrophes, broken relationships and so on.

We store them in our minds so that they are not visible on our surface. No one can see how we conceal all the junk. But when someone wants to get closer to us and opens the door to our inner memories it will all come tumbling down on them.

Instead of treading on or walking around it, it might be time to clean out you inner emotions. Make a decision and throw away everything negative and never let it disturb you again, like ripping out the pages of a book.

You can turn this into a defined exercise if that will help you more. Take some post-it notes and a trash can. Write down one negative emotion/memory on each post-it note and throw them one by one in the trash can.

Some old dark clouds that roam in you present mind are harder to get rid of than others. Then you can write them down and also answer these questions:
*WHAT can I do to leave this behind?
*WHAT do I need to succeed with this?
*WHEN should I do it?


HOW you do it can vary greatly, anything from getting therapy-treatment, to talk to someone that might be one source of your troubles, or cut of the contact to someone, or to write a letter to someone you never usually write to, or to pay debts (both financial and emotional). Yes, it can be anything. Only you know what you need to do.

If you clean out the old baggage you will have the possibility to write new pages and chapters in the future!

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Scientific research about children of alcoholics

This afternoon I'm studying for an exam in psychology. I'm reading about some discouraging but important research results about a correlation between alcoholism among parents and children having an increased tendency towards developing behavioural problems like anti-social behaviour. 

There also seems to be a connection between anti-social behaviour among children and parents suffering from depression.

Then I start to think that for a child to, for example, an alcoholic father, there is a risk that the mother also develops depression because of the alcohol problems in the family. And that mix leads to an increased risk for emotional and behavioural problems for the child.

Once again do we see how the whole family is affected by the fact that one person has an addiction problem. And therefore, the whole family needs help!


What is your opinion on this? Share your thoughts in the comments!
/Carina




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